HEREDITARY EVIL

"There are inherent emotional forces in humanity to which the inherited influences must submit"

The main story begins in 1875. Helena and Eunice are sisters brought up by their father, the Reverend Abel Gracedieu. He has deliberately kept them in ignorance of their true ages because the elder daughter was adopted in 1858, after her natural mother was executed for the brutal murder of her husband. The story's main narrator is the prison governor who always feared the adoption would end badly because of the taint of inherited evil.

The household is joined by the minister's impoverished cousin, Selina Jillgall, to whom Helena takes an immediate dislike. The good-natured Eunice, however, becomes very friendly with Miss Jillgall whose only other ally is a Mrs Tegenbruggen. In 1858 she was Elizabeth Chance, lover of Eunice's murdered father. Mrs Tegenbruggen is determined to discover which daughter is the elder and make trouble.

Eunice, visiting friends in London, meets young Philip Dunboyne. They fall in love but when Philip later sees Helena she captures his affections. Eunice finds out and to compose herself takes some of her ailing father's medicine. Under its influence she sees a ghostly apparition of her executed mother urging her to kill Helena in revenge. Helena incurs the disapproval of both the Reverend Gracedieu and Philip's father, brother-in-law to the executed woman. The distressed minister asks the governor for advice. Helena, to spite them both, provokes her father and, permanently unhinged, he tries to kill the governor with a razor.

Philip tires of Helena and wishes to marry the now reluctant Eunice. Helena in revenge obtains digitalis with a forged prescription and attempts to poison Philip while pretending to nurse him. She is arrested and sent to prison. Philip fully recovers and finally persuades Eunice to marry him, but only after the governor, to thwart the mischievous Mrs Tegenbruggen, has revealed the truth: it was Eunice who was adopted after her mother's execution. Helena serves a two year sentence and emigrates to America where she prospers as the leader of a women's religious cult."

Children such as myself, children of narcissists and severely disordered people should look very closely at their own dynamics of interactions, especially when it comes to intimate relationships. Evil is hereditary and learned. The same environment which shaped our disordered parents were present in our own childhoods. The chance that we have incorporated dysfunctional coping mechanisms AND that we have blinded ourselves to them is not slim - it is very, very real. To deny this reality is the height of dysfunction -- it is narcissism.

The following was excerpted from Sam Vankins, Malignant Self Love: Narcissism Revisited

"We are all shaped in our early childhood by people: parents, teachers, other adults, our peers. It is a delicate job of fine tuning. Very often it is incomplete or wrongly done. As children, we defend ourselves against the incompetence (and, sometimes, the abuse) of our elders. We are individuals, so we each adopt (often unconsciously) a different defense mechanism. One of these self-defense mechanisms is called "narcissism". It is the choice not to seek love and acceptance from - and not to give them to - those incapable or unwilling to provide it. Instead, we construct an imaginary "self". It is everything that we are not, as children. It is omnipotent, omniscient, immune, grandiose, fantastic and ideal. We direct our love at this creation. But deep inside, we know that it is our invention. We need others to inform us constantly and persuasively that it is not MERELY our invention, that it has an existence all of its own, independent of us. This is why we look for "narcissistic supply": attention, adoration, admiration, applause, approval, affirmation, fame, power, sex, etc.

The Narcissist engages in self defeating behaviors as a way to avoid, or destroy commitments, patterns, relationships, and frameworks. These tend to smother him. The narcissist is forced to use other people in order to feel that he exists. The narcissist lives in a world of all or nothing, of a constant "to be or not be". Every discussion that he holds, every glance of every passer-by reaffirms his existence or casts doubt upon it. This is why the reactions of the narcissist seem so disproportionate: he reacts to what he perceives to be threats to the very cohesion of his self. Thus, a minor disagreement is transformed in his harried mind into an ominous sign that he is going to remain devoid of his sources of self-definition. This is such a crucial matter, that the narcissist cannot take chances. He would rather be mistaken – then null and void. He would rather discern disapproval and unjustified criticism where there is none – then face the consequences of being caught off-guard.

Some of us, thus Freud, fail to grow beyond the phase of self-love in the development of the libido. Others refer to themselves and prefer themselves as THE objects of love (instead of their mothers). This choice – to concentrate on the self – is the result of an unconscious decision to give up an unrewarding effort to love others and to trust them. The child learns that the only one he can trust to always and reliably be available – is he. Therefore, the only one he can love without being abandoned or hurt – is again he.

Meaningful others were inconsistent in their acceptance of the child and the only times they paid attention to him were when they wished to satisfy their needs.

They tended to ignore him when these needs were no longer pressing or existent. So, the child learned to side-step deeper relationships in order to avoid this approach-avoidance pendulum. Protecting himself from hurt and from abandonment, he would rather not have anything to do with people around him. He digs in – rather than spring out.

As children, all of us go through this phase of disbelief. We all put people around us (=the objects) to a test. This is the "primary narcissistic stage". A positive relationship with one's parents or caregivers (=Primary Objects) secures the smooth transition to "object love". The child forgoes his narcissism. This is tough: narcissism is alluring. It is very soothing, warm and dependable. It never lets one down. It is always present and omnipresent. It is custom tailored to the needs of the individual. To love oneself is to have the perfect lover. Good reasons and strong forces are required to motivate the child to give it up – "parental love". The child progresses in order to be able to love his parents. If they are narcissists – they go through the idealisation (over-valuation) and devaluation cycle. They do not reliably satisfy the ever-present needs of the "child". In other words, they frustrate him. He gradually develops the sensation that he is no more than a toy, a tool to provide his parents with satisfaction, means to an end. This deforms the budding Ego. The "child" forms a strong dependence (as opposed to attachment) on his parents. This dependence is really a reflection of fear, the mirror image of aggression, as we shall see later.

In Freud-speak (psychoanalysis) we say that the child is likely to develop accentuated oral fixations and regressions. In plain terms, we are likely to see a lost, phobic, helpless, raging child. But a child is still a child and his relationship with his parents is of ultimate importance to him. He, therefore, fights himself and tries to defuse his libidinal and aggressive sensations and emotions. This way, he hopes to rehabilitate the damaged relationship (which never really existed – hence the primordial confabulation, the mother of all future fantasies). In his embattled mind, he transforms the Superego into an idealised, sadistic parent-child. His Ego becomes the complementing part in this imaginary play of invented roles: a hated, devalued child-parent. The family is the mainspring of support of every kind. It mobilises psychological resources and alleviates emotional burdens. It allows for the sharing of tasks, provides material supplies coupled with cognitive training. It is the prime socialisation agent and encourages the absorption of information, most of it useful and adaptive. This division of labour between parents and children is vital both to development and to proper adaptation. The child must feel, in a functional family, that he can share his experiences without being defensive and that the feedback that he is likely to get will be open and unbiased. The only "bias" acceptable (often because it is consistent with constant outside feedback) is the set of beliefs, values and goals that are finally internalised by the child by way of imitation and unconscious identification.

So, the family is the first and the most important source of identity and emotional support. It is a greenhouse where a child feels loved, accepted and secure – the prerequisites for the development of personal resources. On the material level, the family should provide the basic necessities (and, preferably, beyond), physical care and protection and refuge and shelter during crises. The two most important mechanisms are: First, the mechanism of self-deception. The narcissist's internal dialogue is "I do have a relationship with my parents. It is my fault – the fault of my emotions, sensations, aggressions and passions – that this relationship is not working. It is, therefore, my responsibility to make amends. I will construct a narrative in which I am both loved and punished. In this script, I will allocate roles to myself and to my parents. This way, everything will be fine and we will all be happy."

Second is the mechanism of over-valuation (idealisation) and devaluation. The dual roles of sadist and punished masochist (Superego and Ego), parent and child permeate, all the of the narcissist's interactions with other people. The narcissist experiences a reversal of roles as his relationships progress. At the beginning of every relationship he is the child in need of attention, approval and admiration. He becomes dependent. Then, at the first sign of disapproval (real or imaginary), he becomes an avowed sadist, punishing and inflicting pain."